Dave Sim's blogandmail #164 (February 22nd, 2007)

Continuing our week-long (or thereabouts)

Series of Honking HUGE Letters too long

To type out but too good not to post.

Every once in a while, someone will say to me, "Boy, you must get a lot of hate mail." Oddly enough I don't. I don't really know why that is except for my theory that feminists aren't really the "hate mail" type—the shunning that they learned in high school is more their style—and, except for my vehement opposition to feminism, I don't really qualify in any category as someone who would get hate mail. And every once in a while someone will say to me, "Boy, you must get a lot of weird mail." Again, bit of a surprise, I don't actually. So, it is something of an event when I do get a piece of mail that I would genuinely categorize as "weird". How weird? So weird that I actually have no idea how to answer it and so choose not to. Here's the latest one:

Dear Sir or Ma'am,

I am writing to you today concerning a story I have been working on for a few years now. It is the first book of what I am hoping to be a three book series. I have completed the first book and I am currently doing well upon the start of the second book.

The story is entitled Inevitable Will and is set in the future in the sear 2281 A.D. where anthropomorphic Furrs are slaves to the human race doing anything that their Masters or Mistress' order them to do.

For the most part the story follows my single main character whom is a nameless wolf who is parted from his Mistress at the start of the story by a violent act committed by a power hungry human named Mr. Burns who will stop at nothing to convert the wolf to a timid broken slave that will obey him no matter what.

What follows is an action packed trek cross a war torn country in the start of a devastating civil war as the wolf attempts to escape the clutches of the man. The wolf is stuck in a sort of triangle of violence as he attempts to gain his freedom going through many owners along the way as he is continuously found by Mr. Burns.

Mr. Burns is one tip of the triangle. Another tip is the `FSO'. The Federal Slavery Office which is a paramilitary sort of police organized to contain and process all slaves in the United States. They are a violent wing of the government in which acts a policy that if a Furr is not readily identified or vouched for by its owner or is decided it cannot be re-conditioned back to a house slave it is to be put down. All escaped slaves that are recaptured are executed.

The last tip of the triangle is an army of sympathetic humans known as the Liberation Front Army whom believe they are doing justice by attacking re-conditioning facilities and breeding facilities in their attempts to free the slaves from under the human fist of control. Their motives are well but their strategies kill more slaves than they free making them more of a threat than the FSO, National Police Force, and military branches to the Furrs.

The LFA holds nothing back knowing that their obsolete weaponry is no match for the well trained and well armed FSO and government branches. They resort to guerilla fighting tactics as well as terrorist acts from destroying power plants to reducing cities to a fine powder with nuclear weaponry.

This story is by no means for anyone under the age of eighteen for the wolf is a sexual pleasure slave as well as a kitchen slave. He engages in many acts of sexual intercourse with various characters. There is no rape, no incest, and no sexual activity with minors in this story. Every character is eighteen and up. Very few are eighteen to twenty, the majority twenty-four to thirty-nine.

The action scenes consist of hand to hand combat (or should I say hand to paw combat) and fire fights consisting of, for the most part, a number of deaths ranging from three to twenty per scene. The deaths are gruesome to an extent but not too grizzly. For the most part death is attributed to a bullet to the head or body with a few deaths caused by mutilation.

At the end of the first book I prepared a chapter of summaries about each character the wolf had met and details of each weapon the wolf had handled as well as a few paragraphs that'll hopefully explain the story for those that may have gotten confused for I understand that my story may be a bit off line from one part to another making the reader slightly confused. I've done my best to edit this story to make it free flowing from one scene to another.

The story is 295 pages from start to finish accompanied by the chapter of summary which is close to 14 pages long. It is formatted to portrait standard letter each page with the width of 8.5" and length of 11" and the font type is Times New Roman at font size 10 much like this letter in which you are reading. Margins are 1" top and 1" bottom with 1.25" left and right, .5"header and .6" footer.

I have written the above short description, which does not do the story justice in its shortness, for I have come across this address of yours on a internet site entitled "Furry Publishers" whom said that you and your staff publishes books in the Furr genre.

I admit that I am unfamiliar with your company and due to the site only having your mailing address upon it I was unable to go to any site of yours in which you may say your standards for possible publishing requests.

In which I mean what you allow in the stories that you want to be contributed to publishing. If you publish stories with multiple sexual scenes or violence or if you tend to publish those of daily life events.

I wrote this story for all my time upon the internet searching and reading stories written of Furrs I have yet found one that appeals to my sense of action and sexual curiosity as an adult. I find that most of them are written as real life scenarios that are enjoyable to read but are so close to my daily life that they are not enjoyable to me completely for my daily life is not all that interesting.

I wrote it to hopefully throw a good piece of stylized combat action that will appeal to all readers. My characters are diverse and there are not discrimination factors against any minorities. Seeing how that for the most part every one of my characters are bisexual there are no parts in the story where gays are talked badly of or any parts for that matter where a religion is bashed.

This story is simply that of my wolf character trapped in an escalating war that will no doubt lead to the end of the known civilized world if it goes unchecked.

I have written to you hoping that you will give me a chance to send in a small submission in which you could take the time to read and see if it would be possible for your company and I to engage a publishing act to bring this story to life in a way that can be distributed to Furr readers across the country and world depending on where your company does business.

I am ready to state here and now that if any business occurs between us that I am willing to go with only a 7% sales profit of each book with your company keeping 93% for all I wish is to get my story out there. This is no means an attempt to gain money but just to do what I have dreamt of. (I understand things will of course need to be negotiated into a contract if anything is to be done)

I hope that this letter of mine has been understandable and that I can hopefully receipt a reply soon.

I promise my writing style is better than my letter writing.

Tomorrow: Yet another in our series of Honking HUGE letters!

There's more for you

(but, alas, not for Furrs)

in Today's Blog &

MAAAAIIILLL!

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REPLIES POSTED ON THE CEREBUS YAHOO! GROUP
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If you wish to contact Dave Sim, you can mail a letter (he does NOT receive emails) to:

Aardvark Vanaheim, Inc
P.O. Box 1674
Station C
Kitchener, Ontario, Canada N2G 4R2

Looking for a place to purchase Cerebus phonebooks? You can do so online through Win-Mill Productions -- producers of Following Cerebus. Convenient payment with PayPal:

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Or, you can check out Mars Import:

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Or ask your local retailer to order them for you through Diamond Comics distributors.