Dave Sim's blogandmail #283 (June 21st, 2007)

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Fifteen Impossible Things to Believe Before Breakfast That Make You a Good Feminist

1. A mother who works a full-time job and delegates to strangers the raising of her children eight hours a day, five days a week does just as good a job as a mother who hand-rears her children full time.

2. It makes great sense for the government to pay 10 to 15,000 dollars a year to fund a daycare space for a child so its mother - who pays perhaps 2,000 dollars in taxes - can be a contributing member of society.

3. A woman's doctor has more of a valid claim to participate in the decision to abort a fetus than does the father of that fetus.

4. So long as a woman makes a decision after consulting with her doctor, she is incapable of making an unethical choice.

5. A car with two steering wheels, two gas pedals and two brakes drives more efficiently than a car with one steering wheel, one gas pedal and one brake which is why marriage should always be an equal partnership.

6. It is absolutely necessary for women to be allowed to join or participate fully in any gathering place for men, just as it is absolutely necessary that there be women only environments from which men are excluded.

7. Because it involves taking jobs away from men and giving them to women, affirmative action makes for a fairer and more just society.

8. It is important to have lower physical standards for women firepersons and women policepersons so that, one day, half of all firepersons and policepersons will be women, thus more effectively protecting the safety of the public.

9. Affirmative action at colleges and universities needs to be maintained now that more women than men are being enrolled, in order to keep from giving men an unfair advantage academically.

10. Having ensured that there is no environment for men where women don't belong (see no.6) it is important to have zero tolerance of any expression or action which any woman might regard as sexist to ensure greater freedom for everyone.

11. Only in a society which maintains a level of 95% of alimony and child support being paid by men to women can men and women be considered as equals.

12. An airline stewardess who earned $20,000 a year at the time that she married a baseball player earning $6 million a year is entitled, in the event of a divorce, to $3 million for each year of the marriage and probably more.

13. A man's opinions on how to rear and/or raise a child are invalid because he is not the child's mother. However, his financial obligation is greater because no woman gets pregnant by herself.

14. Disagreeing with any of these statements makes you anti-woman and/or a misogynist.

15. Legislature Seats must be allocated to women and women must be allowed to bypass the democratic winnowing process in order to guarantee female representation and, thereby, make democracy fairer.

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Only David W. Johnson would send me a letter on the back of an Act II Microwave Carmel Popcorn box, but, then again only David W. Johnson would send me a letter on the back of a paper plate. Twice. It was weeks before I could look anyone in the eye at the post office. I cut him a lot of slack, though, because he's also the only guy to donate $2,000 to the Food Bank of Waterloo Region on behalf of my scripture readings.

David writes:

" Hidden secret message: Act II Microwave Carmel Popcorn used to come with four bags for $1.50 17 years ago. Except for a brief time at Target, Wal-Mart's been the only store to carry it. The carmel has changed & lessened, but it's still cheap at $2.00. Oddly enough, the day before, though, I was suspended for accidentally hitting an E-Stop at E.T. [David works at the Universal Studios Theme Park in Florida]. If that's not humility, go figure. Anyway, I wanted to tell you that I removed you from the Wikipedia article on anti-feminism as a `noted' anti-feminist. I tried to find out who did it, but couldn't. You're not `noted' & even Margaret agreed."

Well, you know, David, that gets into very awkward areas because I AM an anti-feminist: an unapologetic anti-feminist. By Margaret, I assume you mean Margaret Liss. Margaret is incredibly helpful with her www.cerebusfangirl.com website but she does have a (how would you describe it?) Dave Sim blind spot? It's very possible that someone doing a cerebusfangirl website is one of the few things that kept me out of jail for the last few years. I'm not happy about the fact that men have to have women vouching for them in our world, but I am not unmindful that it is a fact of life and that apart from Margaret there have been no other women who would even consider vouching for me and none who have done so or would consider doing so as extensively and on their own initiative as Margaret did and as Margaret continues to do even though I'm sure she has paid a price for it. I mean, straight out and in the open. I'm sure there are a lot of women who have sold themselves on the idea that because they said to a girlfriend two years ago in a private conversation that maybe Dave Sim isn't quite as irredeemably loathsome as he's made out to be that that makes them Active Dave Sim Defenders right up there with Margaret Liss. Feminism is delusional to start with so feminists tend to harbour exactly those kinds of disproportionate assessments of themselves even as they sit calmly back and watch me ripped to pieces (metaphorically).

"I took off some stuff on your Wikipedia article that was against you, but it was added back. I tried replacing the Victor speech link to Gregory Shank's anti-Dave website, but couldn't, but thanks to Margaret for insight. At least my additions about you both winning the Shuster Award & some of your recent Bible readings basically has been left alone, as has my link to the Yahoo Cerebus Newsgroup."

Well, you know that's something, David, and I thank you for it – sincerely: I can count on the fingers of one hand the people who have stepped up to the plate on my behalf. But I think we have to recognize that the lunatics are in charge of the asylum for the time being. I consider having The Fifteen Impossible Things to Believe Before Breakfast up here every day to be a more than fair trade-off against whatever calumny they want to try to make stick elsewhere on the Internet.

As it says repeatedly in Scripture: May God judge between me and thee.

You can say all the terrible things you want to say about me but let's be very up-front and clear about this: the only reason you're saying all those terrible things is because you can't face (let alone refute) The Fifteen Impossible Things to Believe Before Breakfast. However many hundreds of pages I've written here since last September I don't think you could find more than two or three where I said anything personally offensive about any individual woman. Heidi Macdonald and Jackie Estrada and the Board of Directors of the Friends of Lulu can ACT offended, but I never said anything untruthful about them. I called them intellectually dishonest and explained why I was calling them intellectually dishonest and not one of them has made so much as a token effort to refute the charge. But, that's very different from saying something personally offensive, like calling me a misogynist. I hate women? You really think that I hate women? Honey, if you actually think that I hate women, I strongly recommend that you get out a little bit more and actually meet some women-haters so you know the difference.

Sorry, David. I interrupted.

"Speaking of Margaret, I may have scared her off after our e-mails about forming a future Legacy/Dave Sim & Gerhard Awareness Group when I told he that I'd use it as a springboard to promote Christianity. But still, I found her to be very polite & one of your biggest Cerebus supporters."

Well, yes, I'm sure you did scare her off. Remember that with the Cerebus Yahoos (all but three of them) it's all they can do to get their minds wrapped around the fact that Dave Sim believes in God and that he talks about God openly. If it wasn't for their love of Cerebus, I'd have scared all of them off years ago. Their grudging tolerance of my faith doesn't extend in too many directions. Most of the time I just avoid talking in person about my faith and God and stick to discussing them here in the Blog & Mail…unless the subject comes up in person. In which case I usually warn people if they want to change the subject.

"Speaking of Wikipedia, I contributed to the article on Public Access TV (mainly w/the challenges of it & added some pictures). Come to find out, Canadians basically started Public Access. The First Documentary Film was by a Canadian (Nanook of the North in the 1920s). Later this inspired Canadian filmmakers to form a film group that made documentary films for & by the people. One of them joined up w/an American and started Public Access. A split off of this group formed a comedy group. Some of this group (Bill Murray, Harold Raimis, etc.) went on to Saturday Night Live & movies. See the article and the links to Canada Public Access. Ontario does have it, but I didn't see Kitchener listed. Maybe City Hall could help & you could draw & write about it. God bless."

God bless you, as well, David. I'm afraid I'm not enough on any radar screens in Canada, Ontario OR at City Hall in Kitchener to do anything like what you suggest. While Chester Brown and Seth edge up slowly towards the Governor-General's Award or an Order of Canada or whatever it is that they're going to give them, the consensus in Marxist-feminist Canada is that Dave Sim should count himself lucky that he hasn't been arrested for hate literature against women. Yet.

And most days he does. Indeed, most days he does count himself lucky when he reads about the sort of people running The Show in Ottawa..

Tomorrow: DAVE SIM ARRESTED! (I'm kidding, I'm kidding) (I hope)

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IN STORES NOW!


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REPLIES POSTED ON THE CEREBUS YAHOO! GROUP
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If you wish to contact Dave Sim, you can mail a letter (he does NOT receive emails) to:

Aardvark Vanaheim, Inc
P.O. Box 1674
Station C
Kitchener, Ontario, Canada N2G 4R2

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