Dave Sim's blogandmail #3 (September 15th, 2006)
Today's Blog & Mail is brought to you by the Theory of Relativity.
The Theory of Relativity. It Wants Back into Today's Headlines
And it's willing to use modern marketing methods to do it!
We'll be back after this short commercial message
Hey, Cerebus Retailers!
Answer your phone in the month of September with the phrase that pays:
"Cerebus Doesn't Actually Suck—it's just those idiots on the Comics Journal message boards that make it sound like it does!"
and you could win $5,000 in Cerebus Merchandise!
Who from? We don't know, but there must be somebody who'll give you $5,000 in Cerebus merchandise to answer your phone that way!
Plans for the "YE BOOKES OF CEREBUS" exhibit and performance are continuing for Salt Lake City at the end of October (a few days after the end of Ramadan). Performance? Mimi Cruz is putting together a power point presentation of the first 40 pages of The Last Day which I'll be reading while it's
projected behind me (or possibly "onto me" if we can't get the big auditorium). Should run about three hours with a nice intermission in the middle. Our pitch to the book festival patrons? "GIVE US 15 MINUTES AND WE BET YOU STAY FOR THE WHOLE THING." This will be followed by a Q&A and autographing session and that's what will be on all the advertising and promotion of the event in Salt Lake City. What we're hoping to do right here and now, however, is to let all you Yahoos know that GER AND I WILL BE AVAILABLE FROM NOON ON even though the actual program won't begin until, as advertised, later in the afternoon. That is, just between Ger, me and the Yahoos, Ger will be in the actual exhibit room from noon on and I'll be inside the auditorium from noon on if you want anything autographed or just want to drop by and chat. We hate like heck to see Yahoos having to wait in line behind Non-Yahoos (Or "Soohays" I guess you would call them) AND HUSBAND-AND-WIFE NIGHT FLIGHT COMICS IMPRESSARIOS ALAN CARROLL AND MIMI CRUZ DID A HECK OF A JOB PUTTING TOGETHER THE SINGLE BEST-ATTENDED CEREBUS STORE SIGNING FOR ME BACK IN 1994 so there may be a number of Soohays in attendance twelve years later on. Of course there may not (THE 1994 SIGNING WAS THE LAST SIGNING BEFORE ISSUE 186 CAME OUT) but the invitation includes Yahoos in full standing as well as lurkers (feel free to just stare at all of us from begind a nearby pillar) and anyone else who isn't still sulking about issue 186 TWELVE YEARS LATER!
BULLETIN! BULLETIN! BULLETIN! UBER-YAHOO MATT "YEAH I'M MARRIED NOW: WANT TO MAKE SOMETHING OF IT?" DOW NO LONGER LIVES AT 2115 MONROE STREET IN TWO RIVERS, WISCONSIN. WE REPEAT: MATT DOW NO LONGER LIVES AT 2115 MONROE STREET IN TWO RIVERS WISCONSIN. THIS INFORMATION CAME TO LIGHT WHEN A LETTER ADDRESSED TO HIM WAS RETURNED WITH A CHECK MARK NEXT TO "NOT DELIVERABLE AS ADDRESSED". IT IS ALSO ADORNED WITH A YELLOW STICKER READING: DOW-115 542412005 1N 09 07/01/06 (ONLY ONE INTEGER OFF FROM E. HOWARD HUNT'S CIA FILE NUMBER. COINCIDENCE? HAHA! AS IF!) AND "UNABLE TO FORWARD", "NO FORWARD ORDER ON FILE" AND "RETURN TO POSTMASTER OF ADDRESSEE FOR REVIEW" AS WELL AS HALF A BAR CODE. IN A LATE-BREAKING DEVELOPMENT A STRANGE CANCELLATION MESSAGE APPEARS ON THE ENVELOPE READING: "FROM ANYWHERE TO ANYONE" AND (EN FRANCAIS) "DE PARTOUT JUSQU-A VOUS" (ROUGHLY TRANSLATED "BLOW IT OUT YOUR EAR, ANGLO SWINE"). THE LETTER HAS BEEN SITTING IN GERHARD'S IN-BOX FOR ABOUT SIX WEEKS NOW (HIS SUBTLE WAY OF INQUIRING "WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THIS?" THE FIRST WEEK AND "CAN YOU PLEASE REMOVE THIS FROM MY IN-BOX?" IN EACH OF THE SUBSEQUENT FIVE WEEKS) AND IF I REMEMBER CORRECTLY CONTAINS A DRAWING OF FAMOUS MATT DOW CARTOON CREATION "BONER THE RUNT DOG" BY YOURS TRULY (SEE www.yourstruly.com.) (THAT WAS A JOKE, BY THE WAY,YOU WWW.COMPUTEROBSESSESSEDPAVLOVIANDOGS.COM). If either Matt or his lovely bride can email Ger a new address maybe we can move this project forward sometime before Christmas and Boner can find a new home (NO CRACKS, PLEASE).
If you wish to contact Dave Sim, you can mail a letter (he does NOT receive emails) to:
Aardvark Vanaheim, Inc
P.O. Box 1674
Kitchener, Ontario, Canada N2G 4R2
Looking for a place to purchase Cerebus phonebooks? You can do so online through Win-Mill Productions -- producers of Following Cerebus. Convenient payment with PayPal:
Or, you can check out Mars Import:
Or ask your local retailer to order them for you through Diamond Comics distributors. Here are the Diamond Star System codes:
Cerebus #1-25 $30.00 STAR00070
High Society #26-50 $30.00 STAR00071
Church and State I #52-80 $35.00 STAR00271
Church and State II #81-111 $35.00 STAR00321
Jaka's Story #114-136 $30.00 STAR00359
Melmoth #139-150 $20.00 STAR00431
Flight #151-162 $20.00 STAR00543
Women #163-174 $20.00 STAR00849
Reads #175-186 $20.00 STAR01063
Minds #187-200 $20.00 STAR01916
Guys #201-219 $25.00 STAR06972
Rick's Story #220-231 $20.00 STAR08468
Going Home I #232-250 $30.00 STAR10981
Form and Void #251-265 $30.00 STAR13500
Latter Days #266 - 288 $35.00 AUG031920
The Last Day #289 - 300 $25.00 APR042189
REPLIES POSTED ON THE CEREBUS YAHOO! GROUP